Dazlin R. - Diagnosed at age 12
I call them my terrorists. Because they live in white cells, and run around causing meaningless damage.
These terrorists started causing problems. When I was just blooming into adulthood; Hips rounding out, youthful gawkiness smoothing.
The tests made no sense to me, or to my doctors, of which there were many. It seems pain is not always so easily defined.
I was categorized, identified, labeled. Found out as different, limited, stymied; As a youth I was to be pitied, potential dismissed.
Initially I found purpose in revolution, I told myself it was me against the unfair world. It was my spirit against my weak, traitorous body.
For too long I believed and lived my crusade, rejecting medication, resisting good sense; I tested and exceeded my perceived and real limitations.
Those long years were teaching unheard lessons. As I fought myself, damaged my spirit and my body. Yearning to attain a sense of self, of adequacy.
Eventually I realized that my hostility was not waged in defiance of the world. Rather, my willful toil was in defiance of my self.
It was upon embracing this intimate unity that I was able to achieve the inner harmony, which I realized had been my true loss, so long ago.